Snow Globe
Submitted by ana on Sun, 06/08/2008 - 7:14am.
a daring soul
is the one that dips her hand into
the stars,
and pulls out a bucket of sparkle.
wonderous love that gets tossed into the air
and falls upon us
blanketing us with warmth
tingles on our skin
lifting our lips into smiles
we see those carved names
washed over with yesterday's
oil spills
tangled feathers, and a mass of old bones
and nothing
but an empty heartbeat
slowing to nearly
a stop beat.
and so she gave him all of her sparkles
the ones she tested in the soil
the ones that grew into magnificent love
the ones that faded when he looked away
the ones that lost their shine on that very last day
before his footprints walked away
and ended up
on the other side
of the glass.
I love these words in
I love these words in particular:
is the one that dips her hand into
the stars,
I think you have a good, effective ending. I would try tightening/condensing the poem up elsewhere, though.
As usual, a lot of energy/life poured into this.
yes...
I would like to tweek this a bit more.. make it into a "WOW" poem
:)
I haven't had one of those in a long time. hee hee
i know what you mean about
i know what you mean about "wowness." as for my own poems, i'd settle for a mediocre "okay" right about now. :-o
and so she gave him all of
and so she gave him all of her sparkles
start a third stanza there? maybe...
Poems by kpaul