Forever, my Eidolon

I have been unable to identify
with intellect or intuition
the depth and strength of the arms that have embraced me
and why it was they have kept me safe.

Nothing defined
or definable,
just like the hollow feeling
I got when you told me that
I didn't fit in the crook that your arm makes,
or that when you look out the window
and feel the breeze from the southwest,
you would rather be alone.

I see you lying there, now,
with the sheet half up your body,
and I have to hold myself back
to keep from sliding in next to you
…wanting to dance my fingers over your chest
like butterflies on sunflowers.

…wanting to kiss your far away eyes
and feel your hand on the small my back,
and hear you tell me that I inspire you once again.

…wanting to be the one that you trust
with all the thoughts that flit in the back of your mind.
The thoughts you never share with anyone.
The thoughts you deny even exist.

I sit an impossible distance from the bed
and I see you turned away from me
like an apparition that slowly fades
as I turn out the light.