Ghost Whispers

I can tally them up;
the rungs I have climbed on this white ladder
trying to find the promises that you made so long ago
when you silenced me with your pen.
And your lips.
And your sweet caress.

And I can tally them up
all the times you begged
to \"Please forgive me,\"
and I believed
and I forgave.

I must have seen the silver lining around your heart
encasing the truth that it holds.
The truth and the promises made for another
and yet,
Another.

And one last time I told you
that we're not right
and this time you agreed
and left me standing there, holding your image in my hand
crumpled and distorted, like a face,
mirrored in a bathroom faucet.

And it was then that I decided
I could sail away to Babylon tonight
and the moon would provide me with
nightblindness
and maybe it will help me to see what I hadn't seen before
and I will no longer need a captain
or you
and my oh my, I could float out there forever
steering myself
to the places you only dream of at night.
And I will leave you behind this time,
in the world that you have molded
with the faded red clay still caked in your fingernails.

But for now, I must be thankful
that this year's love
existed at all;
as I am thankful that you existed
in that empty space that exists for only seconds

and then it is gone.

And we will take a breath
and hold on tight
to the nothingness that surrounds us.

Because soon it will be time for us to once again
say hello,
wave goodbye.