Dispose

The man who watcheth me. I feel more and more unneeded, not wanted. The replacements. The hypocrisy. The plans for possible moving.

Anger. I have much anger. Sometimes I think the only thing really holding me back is him. But will my feelings go away? As long as he's not having sex with me, they might.

Tests. I was right about him all along. He does test. Too much. And it's not what he does that angers me, it's just the testing. I hate being a lab rat. I hate that I have to be a perfect experiment in order for him to stay. I hate how he sits there & says that there's nothing there for him, that anything is expendable, when I've been whipped by him this whole time.

I'm tired of meaning nothing.