what it means to love you

what it means to love you:

you are a snow storm
amidst the summer heat
and it doesn't even matter
that nothing makes sense

caught
in between reason
and desiring something
worthy of the distance,
I fumble across you

searching
for a little bit
more of myself
without reservation

memories are not enough
to catch my breath
one inhale-
two exhales

still, I take you
in to in my lungs
like steriod therapy
to build their strength

and long after it is over
your remnants
still settle
at the bottom

why would I want it
any other way-
you are addictive
self sadistic

and I fear
you fear loss
so much you won't
take chances on yourself

beautifully confused
you draw me in
like I am the last drag
of the last smoke

you will ever
bring to your lips
then hold me in
avoiding the inevitable exhale...