the white wall

it took me a long time to realize
that for some people, the dust
somehow refuses to ever settle
and for me, that works out right
because I don't settle either

it's in the quality we define
for our lives, or lack thereof
looking at the world from a distance
wishing that we could be involved
at a level that wouldn't feel smothering

I contemplate my sheer rationalization
for deeply rooted insecurity triggers
all for which I blame myself
for having allowed vulnerabilities
to other peoples' weakness

I am full of holes; admittedly
watching others fall through them, sadly
as I do my best to mend and contain
my willingness to let longing intrude
the resistance to become immobile

I am one mind; solitary in need to be unique(ly)
tied in to the collection
of our commonalities...it's okay to cry-
we've all created disappointments
when falling short of recognizing our glory