morning tea
Submitted by hey_oblomov on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 3:07am.
Into the dew, the morning
the birds waking and quietly
preening, rustling in the trees
not minding the early hour
I drift deeper into the wood
stuff my pockets along the way
tiny wild ruby strawberries clatter as I step
bunches of chamomile, mint leaves
and at last, in a spotlight ray
of light too perfect
to be real, the fat and heavy
poppy pods of a flower I'd
long admired
It's a long way to go
for tea. Gather, dice
dry for the friendship
of a steaming mug at dawn.
Poem- Morning Tea
A nice genteel poem, it was not too long a way to go,
I felt like as if I was walking along with you,nice and slow,I am a tea lover, the title of your poem caught my attention right off,actually I'm drinking a glass of iced tea presently, I had a nice cup of steaming black tea earlier with an English muffin for breakfast!
--nonsequitor (Frank
07/23/008
hey.
hey. i'm a tea lover too. earl green. but you're drinking opium tea?--hmm.
anyway, i enjoyed the piece. A suggestion: try eliminating
some of the what-d'-ya-call-ems. you know, the
"a's" and "the's" and such. for instance:
"into the dew, morning
birds waking quietly,
preening,..." and so forth until
"steaming mug dawn."
just something you might experiment with :)