personality #5

doesn't like me too much,
mental rather than physical,
and number four (without a name)
likes to make fun of my body, while
the others sometimes find me tolerable.

write it all down,
take it to court,
the caesar shall
be pleased with
the report - i
am tricked in
-to being a
person i'm
not, knot
of marr
-iage,
mir-
age.

sometimes i think i'm going along fine and well,
and then one of them says it's all me, not
wanting to take any responsibility, it's
not me, it's not me, you see, it's not
me. i see me as the me, hardened by
trickery and deceit, left without
a good seat to see the show, i
wonder if carl jung had a
word for it - (write
that down, it'll
do well in
court.)

my life seems an anticipation of a
trial - test of wills, a court
of law to say it was all my
fault (jot the note, save
the words) it's not all
me, i can't see the
reality of you
anymore, i
can't see
me any-
more.

and
then it
hits me like
a two-ton toyota
truck in the wastelands
of afghanistan - i am still
who i am and people will hate
me for that - some will get
close to see if they can
find any chinks in the
armor - and then they
pry loose, exposing
the soft under-
belly, the
flesh is
weak.