Stable Eyes

Going from one end of the
emotional spectrum to
the other in a short
period of time -
over and over
again.

The need to stabilize,
the need for stable eyes
to look into mine - help me
anchor for a moment or two -
just a few hours, please -
like the ship or boat
that took Ishmael
to his struggle
against the
whale -
rocking
back and forth -
almost breaking free
from gravity, then having it
pull me back down to reality.

And those unstable eyes in the mind
scare people maybe when they
see past the veneer to the
shape of the wood, of
the words underneath.

And each of us has to learn how to
stabilize. And most perhaps know
how to do it - taking a long time
to go from one emotion to
another - and some,
such as myself,
flit from one
to another
to another
in just an
afternoon -
so happy
and laughing
one moment and
experiencing despair
the next.

And it's not a lack of net -
I have Ergo for that -
my poems for
that. It's just
that some-
times the
weight of
it all - of
moving
(emotionally)
at the speed of
thought - it drains
you and like a grand-
father clock, the pendulum
moving back and forth
from one side to
the other.

It's not safe perhaps moving
from one extreme to another,
though. At least not for long
periods of time. And of late
I've had trouble finding a
sense of solace in either
as I usually do - if not happiness
then a long swim in melancholy.

A mind in motion stays in motion,
though. So I try to ride the waves
back and forth, searching for the
whale in my life, that big defining
moment where I can sink or swim.

To stabilize, with stable eyes
staring into mine, would be best.
But I must confess that this
isn't on the horizon quite yet.