giving birth

maybe most mothers out
there would disagree with me
on this but it sometimes feels like
i'm giving birth with this novel - as
i am moody as hell and have been
having weird food cravings. of course
i don't have any of the physical things that
go along with it - but mentally. a little perhaps.

it's such a hard subject to write about, such a
beautiful subject to write about and it has me
so emotionally confused at the moment, going
from highs to lows even more frequently than
normal (for me...) and the winds of life blow
and items and things and people and
feelings are thrown into it.

this book is going to have a piece of me
in it, a piece of my mind and piece of
my heart and it's going to leave me
a little less human after writing it
but i can't have it in me anymore
and maybe by writing it i can
come to understand the
topic a little better my-
self.