Something Lewd
Submitted by no_exit on Wed, 01/09/2008 - 3:57pm.
How odd, at least for me, this certitude
That women should be shamed of nakedness
When nature, in its goodness, sought to bless
Through female charm the beauties of the nude.
And yes, I know that perverts will allude
To nubile treasures hid beneath a dress
In terms that, for a woman, give distress
Thus making all this interest seem so crude.
But what of men, who photograph and gain,
Through profligation, lucre from her skin?
On them, perhaps, we should confer disdain
And free these women, naked, from chagrin.
So this I say to beauty, walk unclothed!
I promise, thick or thin, you won't be loathed.
i read somewhere that
i read somewhere that moses--or whoever wrote the book of genesis--often used one or two lines of poetry sporadically...and the story goes that adam wanted a mate, but God first made him go out and name all the animals int he world--which probably took hundreds of years, and the idea behind it, maybe, was that adam would really appreciate his mate. when he was done naming, god put him to sleep. when he woke up, he saw eve for the first time, and it was the first time moses used poetry, when adam says:
"bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh."
you should be proud of this, written impeccably with such soft playfullness, not to mention punctuated in a way that enhances the playfullness for the reader with the short bursts separated by commas. i think, maybe, the lines should be shorter, more...playful and fun for the reader to read. also, maybe a dash or comma after "disdain"?
Thanks Softserve. I think
Thanks Softserve. I think its safe to say Moses assembled the book of Genesis, and perhaps wrote some of it. There's at least 3 different voices evident within its narrative. I like the way you point out the notion that poetry arose from man's first glimpse of woman. Nice.
I could consider the dash after "disdain" but I can't make the lines any shorter - not while remaining in the confines of a shakespearean sonnet. still, it would maybe be fun to break this apart into a free verse poem, displacing the rhymes a bit. Thanks.
i didn't even realize this
i didn't even realize this was a sonnet.....WOA!!!
good grief
good grief