To have and to have not

I have grainy recollections

of my teenage years
spent in clouds
of marijuana smoke
listening to Horses
by Patty Smith.

I have ridden
on top of a stationwagon
flying
through the streets
of Dallas
and not fallen off.

I have two arms
two legs and most everything
still intact
which the driver
of the stationwagon in Dallas
did not.

I have every reason

to end this poem
right here
but I won't.
I have awakened,

crawled out of bed
and stuck my bare toes
into the half-eaten torso
of a bunny rabbit
left on the bathroom floor
by my cat.

I have dozens of excuses.

I have forty acres
in the woods
on a grassy lake
with a beaver lodge
and a canoe.

I have habits

that I should have
broken by now.
I have intelligence

but it outsmarts
me at every turn
when I least
expect it
leaving me high and dry.

I have jurisdiction

but only over the contents
of my brain bucket
and sometimes that becomes
compromised
though not very often
and when it does
oh boy.

I have Kentucky Fried Chicken

about once
every 6 months
and it hasn't killed me
yet.

and now I have
lost direction in this poem
because
I have no patience
but really I do.

I have excitement.