spiders

go to sleep, she says.

i'm afraid to.
i feel like
if i allow my body
to fall asleep,
it will sleep so hard
it won't be able
to bring itself back.

you worry too much, she says.

i don't want any spiders
to bite me while i'm asleep;
they say that spiders
crawl over you
and try to drink
from the corners
of your eyes.

i guess that's what the song
is about.
we used to play that song
as hard as we possibly could,
and i would throw my body around
w/ wreckless intent
at bars,
in front of our country's finest.

now i sweat in my bed;
i swat at every tickle,
hoping to crush any and all
possible insects.

i try to imagine why it rains--
how i am stuck on this
spinning rock, where,
for whatever reason,
sometimes it rains
and sometimes it doesn't.

maybe it will tonight
and the spiders
can go to puddles
and get drunk and fat on the water
and leave my poor sleeping
carcass alone
and itchless

w/ my tragic brain wondering,
trying to let go.